Unhealthy Relationships Between Christians

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Sun, Jan 06, 2019

Teacher: Yale Wall Scripture: Romans 3:22-24 & Acts 18:24-28

January 6, 2019

Broken Relationships

Unhealthy Relationships Between Christians


Romans 3:22b-24
There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

In this series, we’re going to be looking at:
- Unhealthy Relationships Between Christians
- Broken Romantic Relationships
- How Relationships Change With a Growing Church
- Coping With Loss and Death

 

 

1. Having Unhealthy Depth

Acts 18:24-28
24 Meanwhile a Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus. He was a learned man, with a thorough knowledge of the Scriptures. 25 He had been instructed in the way of the Lord, and he spoke with great fervor and taught about Jesus accurately, though he knew only the baptism of John. 26 He began to speak boldly in the synagogue. When Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they invited him to their home and explained to him the way of God more adequately.
27 When Apollos wanted to go to Achaia, the brothers and sisters encouraged him and wrote to the disciples there to welcome him. When he arrived, he was a great help to those who by grace had believed. 28 For he vigorously refuted his Jewish opponents in public debate, proving from the Scriptures that Jesus was the Messiah.

 

Sometimes we don’t go deep enough.

Not going deep enough would be like if someone is discipling you, and you aren't willing to share what’s really going on or they speak into your life and you ignore it.

If my discipleship is just my discipler telling me that everything I do is amazing, that’s not discipleship.  That is Him actively stunting my growth and not really loving me.  I should be challenged, I should be pushed forward, it should be uncomfortable because he sees me from a different perspective than I do.

 

Sometimes we don’t let anyone in at all
 because we’ve been hurt in the past.

Almost all of us have been hurt by someone in a church.  That can lead to distrusting people solely because they are in the church or we can start to judge God based on His people.

 

Sometimes we only feel comfortable going deep with people 
that we have known for a really long time.

Long standing relationships with people you've known for a long time are awesome, but with different seasons in your life come different needs in your spiritual walk.  Discipleship with 1 person is not forever, so be willing to GO where God leads you, and STAY where God leads you too.

 

Sometimes we go too deep with everyone.

This looks like: when someone is going through a sin issue, they tell EVERYONE!  When we tell everyone our issues, we get a false sense of security that we are working through our sin when really all we’re doing is talking about our sin.

 

Sometimes we go way to deep with one person, and we value their input too much.

Mutualism: both partners benefit
Commensalism: only one partner benefits while the other is neither helped nor harmed
Parasitism: One partner gains, while the other suffers

If you are always going to a person first with everything you deal with, that means you are not going to God first. If you spend hours and hours talking to someone but you haven't already spent hours and hours in prayer, your priorities are out of order.

 

 

2. Being Isolated

Hebrews 10:24-25
24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

1 Corinthians 12:14
14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.

Proverbs 18:1 ESV
Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.

 

 

Sometimes we Isolate ourselves, and we blame it on another person.

Romans 12:18
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

If there is someone that you avoid because of a disagreement or because they did something to hurt you and you don't want to talk about it, you need to make that relationship right.

 

Sometimes we Isolate ourselves by running away from the church and blaming the church for not chasing after us.

When someone gets hurt by someone else in the church and leaves instead of dealing with it and talking it through, they leave the whole community of believers and play right into the Enemy’s hand.  What’s worse, is 9 times of of 10, they don’t think for a moment about all the people they hurt.  They get hurt that everyone didn’t come after them, even though people did.

You isolating yourself from the church, does nothing more than take you away from your safety net of people who love and support you and ultimately gives Satan exactly what he wants.

 

Sometimes we believe the lie that we’re isolated when we really aren’t.

John 8:44 (talking about Satan)
He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

The enemy wants you separated from God’s people, and he wants to destroy our relationships because he knows there is power in the church.  If you are feeling isolated, you are believing a lie - un-isolate yourself. 

 

 

3. Being Lead By Our Emotions

1 Peter 1:13
13 Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming.

God gave us emotions to help us as a gauge, but often they become our guides in everything instead of having a sober and alert mind.

 

Sometimes we blame people for how we felt, instead of what they actually did.

How you feel in response to someone’s actions says very little about what their action really was.  SO MUCH conflict can be taken care of when we clearly communicate what we heard vs what the other person was saying.

Your emotions are valid, but not always right.
 

Sometimes we judge people based on the 10% of the picture that we see - not the whole picture.

It is really dangerous to have your full synopsis of someone based on your emotional response to what you see. 

 

 

4. Being Stuck in Our Own Viewpoints

Philippians 2:3-4
3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

 

Sometimes we see our view of something as the only reality.

Presupposition - an implicit assumption about the world or background belief relating to the subject

Your brain works differently than the person next to you.  You both have a different backgrounds and you both have different perspectives.  When someone comes to you and says they see something in your life that is not lining up with the Bible or they call out something you did to them, listen.

 

Sometimes we want grace for a mental health issue or past hurt, but we aren't willing to admit that we might see things differently because of it.

Often, because of the weight of evil that has been inflicted on us, it changes our viewpoints on things in a negative way.  If we are responding completely out of hurt,
we’re responding based on the affects of someone else’s sin.  It makes sense, and it’s not always wrong, but it’s good to see other viewpoints in the midst of our pain.

This is also the case with mental health issues. It’s important to press into your church community all the more to get a healthy view of reality. It is completely okay to be not be 100% self reliant, and it’s okay to ask other people to help us find reality.

 

Sometimes we think about every situation and how it relates to us instead of caring more about someone else.

If someone tells you something they are going through, and the first thing you think of is how it affects you... You need to get out of your own box.  More often than not, we do this unknowingly.

 

 

Matthew 7:3
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

 

Connection Card

  1. I am going to take time over this series to let God call out my brokenness so He can heal my side of my relationships.

  2. I will look back over the notes this week and ask God what of this describes me.

  3. I’m struggling with something in this sermon, I want to meet with a life group leader.

 

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