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Sun, Apr 16, 2017

Teacher: Yale Wall Series: Healthy Conflict Scripture: Matthew 18:21-35 & Proverbs 27:17

April 16, 2017

Healthy Conflict

Healthy Conflict


- an incompatibility between two or more opinions, principles, or interests
- a serious disagreement or argument

Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

It’s not a cute little process, it’s intense, it’s stressful and if you’re the sword or dagger, it hurts.  Just like with the sharpening on the dagger, it’s painstakingly dragging across your edge shaving little parts of your flesh off to make you sharp and to make you a powerful weapon in the hands of God.

So, when it is done correctly, conflict can not only be healthy it can be beneficial and life-changing.


Being Forgiven

You can do all of those things, but if you harbor bitterness and unforgiveness in your heart, you might as well be drinking poison.

Matthew 18:21-27
The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

It's not about how many times you forgive, you just keep on forgiving and here’s why:

23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

The point Jesus is making, is that this man had a completely un-payable debt on his head.


What he’s really talking about is SIN
- missing the mark
- deviating from the goal
- breaking the rules

What sin does, is separates us from God and ultimately gives us a debt that is so great that we can’t pay it back

Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death


Just like the man in this story, our Master doesn’t want us to die under the weight of this debt.

Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

God loved YOU so much, that He sent His son, Jesus to die for you. The Bible very clearly lays out how to say yes to God’s offer:

Romans 10:9
9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.


Forgiving Others

Matthew 18:28-35
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.

31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

This is exactly what unforgiveness looks like in our lives.  God has forgiven us a huge debt, and when we choose not to forgive someone else for something much smaller, we are dishonoring the sacrifice of Jesus.

So how do you do that?
How do you practically forgive someone?

1. Make the choice to forgive.


2. Forgive regardless of circumstance


3. Be willing to ask for forgiveness also


4. Keep our eyes on the big picture.

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

When we focus on Jesus as our source of freedom,
we can't help but offer up freedom as well.

Communication Card
- I will work on forgiving people in my life this week.
- I need to ask someone I know for forgiveness this week.
- I want more information on the forgiveness that Jesus offered us on the cross.


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